Little Earthquakes

In Japanese schools they don't have cleaners come in and clear up after everyone. Instead they set aside time at the end of each day for each class to clean their rooms. Just after lunch they come in a group and clean our staffroom.

Which is how I came to be blogging right now, needing an excuse to get me through this 10 minutes when I feel entirely too conspicuous while they're cleaning around us. Not really knowing how to communicate but feeling bad for ignoring them, unable to meet their eyes.

It's a strange time of day.

On to other things. I have a lesson to plan for Monday and I have no clue what to do for it. The teacher has come up and told me 'I will also be student in this class, it is team teaching but this is your class' (big help there, thanks) before leaving for the day. I've looked through my predecessors notes and found his old lessons plans and stuff, but I think at the very least the new vocab is going to have to have Japanese translations (which I don't know!). Some of the work he set for them was 'translate this info into Japanese' so that we can check their understanding, sadly this isn't really possible for me as they could write anything they liked and it would all look like pretty scribbles to me.

On a slightly more positive note, I survived Big Intro quite well, and the kids seem a little less scared of approaching me now. It can be quite funny at times. There are certain rules they seem to need to follow when approaching the ALT. Absolute number one is never attempt it alone! You must either be in a group of 4 or 5 (if you're a girl), or riding past on your bike on the way to school in the morning (good for both genders but again - never alone!). In terms of actual interaction you may only go as far as greeting, anything else may lead the ALT to actually try a conversation. If you are in a larger group, the combination of an audience and the laser stare of a blue-eyed foreigner may cause you to forget your name*. Having successfully received a 'hello' or 'good morning' in return, thus showing understanding and proving your English prowess, you may then proceed to either burst into giggles or high-five each other as you run away (again, depending on gender).

I finally got my foreign reistration card today, I now officially exist. Hopefully that means I will be able to get a cellphone at some point.

I am making an (admittedly, possibly futile) attempt to make my apartment look more like a home and less like student accommadation. I don't want to spend huge amounts but I'm planning on being here for as long as possible so I think it will be worth the investment for 3 years. I went to a third year JETs place the other day and was struck with intense hovel envy.


*Sadly, I'm not kidding. Though this new superpower could be useful when I come to develop my own special brand of 'stink-eye' for the classroom. Must...not...abuse... power...

Speech given to the staff room, I have the big one tomorrow.

It didn't help that the meeting was earlier than I thought so I was a couple of minutes late. The panic caused me to forget one of my lines and have to check, my notes which causes a smattering of laughter. Luckily it felt more like 'aww, look at the ALT trying her best' than 'wow she's dumb'.

I bought a new rice cooker! The one that came with my apartment was terrible, every time I tried to cook it ended up as either hard kernels or rice paste. Incidentally, after a quick gander on my 'Survival Kanji' book it turns out there is actually a rice paste button on the cookers here, but my menu button was broken so I choose to see this situation as 'my cooker was crap', rather than 'Zan is Japtarded'. The fact that I have no problems with my new one seems to support my conclusion.

Speaking of Japtarded, my sense of well being from having mastered kana lulled me into a false sense of security yesterday when I decided to take a trip to Komeri in search of shiny things. Buoyant with confidence in my own abilities I asked one of the shop people if they had an IP phone. Sadly this is where it all started to go wrong. I didn't know the exact word for IP phone, so I used 'computer phone' (konpyuta denwa) in a seemingly logical exchange.

Wrong. Oh so wrong.

コンピュタでんわがありますか
konpyuta denwa ga arimasu ka?

You have never seen so much pandemonium in all your life. You see, the one major flaw with this speaking Japanese thing, is that unless they answer hai or iie (yes or no) I have very little idea what they're saying. If they ask for clarification or more detail I stare at them blankly with that look in my eye of wakarimasen (I don't understand). She goes and gets her supervisor. Somebody else comes over with a piece of paper and a pen and I draw a picture of a laptop with a phone attached and draw an arrow to the phone and say 'denwa'. Nothing. Someone else comes and shows me to the cables, pointing to the wire I'd drawn to the computer, I shake my head and they all look lost.

"Kibordu?" *circles the laptop keyboard*. Iie.

At this point there are about 5 of them and normal business has ground to a halt. They're trying really hard but I just don't have any other vocabulary to offer them, and I'm so embarrased all I want to do is to pay for my rice cooker and run. A woman comes up and says 'I help you? My sister eigo speak' and I nearly cry. She gets her sister on the phone who then explains to the staff what I'm looking for.

They don't sell it. I am still Skype-less.

I leave as quickly as possible.

I've managed to get most my katakana down and it's amazing what a difference it makes when you can sound out words on menus and signs. Of course, I still don't know the English translation when I've decoded the kana, but hey, it's all about the baby steps.

It makes me feel ridiculously clever when I sound out 'chuuu.... no wait, chooo..ko...ru...ke..ki? chokorukeki? hang on, chocolate cake? Dude! I'm a genius!'. That's the thing I love about katakana, most if the words are foreign loan words so once you sound it out and remember that Japanese have no 'l' sound you're usually not a hundred miles away from the English equivalent. I'm keeping myself sadly entertained by being able to read (if not understand) everything I see.

Well. Not everything. Kanji still eludes me, but lessons start 9/11.

Assuming I survive that long that is. My upcoming heart attack? An introduction speech I have to give. In front of the whole school inauguration assembly. And some parents. In Japanese.

Somebody kill me.

Hurray! I'm back. Internet has been installed in my apartment as of about half an hour ago so expect much more regular updates from now on. Speaking of being connected, have a look at the picture below and tell me if you notice anything absolutely awesome...

I've just had to admit defeat and use the school toilet. This is an experience I would rather have forgone because my school only has the Japanese style squatter toilets. It wouldn't be so bad but the school bathrooms are really not that nice and I was already kinda squeamish about what might be on the toilet slippers (you have to change into special slippers when you enter the bathrooms). One of the other JETs pointed out that 'nice squatter' is a bit of an oxymoron, as if it's going to be nice then chances are it's been upgraded to western-style facilities. I've found the toilets here tend to be either primitive or super powered. My school has the latter, a porcelain hole in the ground (I've never really had to think about aim when I've peed before, oh Japan what new horizons you have brought to me!), though it does have the advantage of no matter how gross it is you don't actually have to touch anything. My hotel in Tokyo however, had a toilet that was more advanced than my laptop.



Though I nearly had a heart attack when I accidentally pressed my hand on one of the buttons during use once. Call me old fashioned but surely toilets shouldn't be able to suprise me like that?

I figured I'd give you all a quick run through of what's going on now, else I'll have to do a post with too much in it and end up not saying anything at all.

I feel very stupid here. Without any Japanese I don't seem to be able to function by myself for the most basic of things, but it's different because I can't just guess, or even look it up in the dictionary easily. It's quite a bit of money but I think I'm going to invest in an electronic dictionary, one that will let me write in the kanji and just have it spit the word back at me.

Japan has never met a food they couldn't add green tea to. Green tea flavoured pocky? Surprisingly delicious! Green tea flavoured kitkat? Not so much.





I was thisclose to buying green tea flavoured hagan daaz, but restrained myself at the last moment.

Other Japanese foods I have tried include mochi (a type of ball made of a sweet red bean paste, wrapped in a clear [and I'll admit somewhat suspicious looking] jelly goo type of mixture), and tako-yaki (a piece of octopus wrapped in some type of white sauce with onion, then breaded into a ball and deep fried). Both were magically good (I know! It shocked me too!).

(80's power tunes optional)

So this is it, I leave tomorrow afternoon. I came back from mum's and emptied my entire suitcase in an attempt to skim off anything unnecessary. Turns out it's all pretty necessary. After repacking it's only 1.5kg lighter than it was and now weighs in at 23.5 kg. Considering my baggage limit is 20 I suppose a kilo and a half is still a help, but I just keep finding things I need to put in there.

I haven't packed my hand luggage yet because I can't stay off my computer long enough to admit defeat and just put the laptop away in it.

I still need to shower and change my bed sheets.

Oh crap! and wash my uniform so I can return it to Sainsbury's before I go.

God I'm organised.